Rules?

I think I've posted this quote before.  I know I mention this quote 8-11 times a week.  In The Big Lebowski, John Goodman utters the phrase: "This isn't Vietnam...There are rules."
Although he was talking about the Vietnam War (American war as it is known here) the comment still holds true, there are no rules.

Coming home from school on Wednesday I saw two things.  One, in Ciputra where the school is (a very nice, gated community) a 4 year old girl was squatting and peeing into the fountain.  Nope, it was around the back of the fountain.  Nope, her dad wasn't shielding her from everyone watching.  He was simply sitting on his motorbike, not even pulled over all the way.  The fountain, by the way, is the center point of a round-a-bout so she was dead center in the middle of traffic.  Two, we see this everyday, but it really struck me this time.  We come home on the lake road.  All along the road lovers stop on their motorbikes and cuddle.  Enterprising women sell drinks and snacks to people who are lounging on floor mats.  And...cars think that they are tiny.   No cars should be allowed on the road.  It is often barely wide enough for 1 car.   Two cars passing each other is common though.  Both hike a wheel up on the sidewalk and at about 2km an hour they ease past each other.  The motorbike community can't seem to understand why they must go slowly so from both ends, people honk through the whole ordeal.  This happened about 7 times on Wednesday.  It is terrifying when an SUV (overkill of a car in a city where the top speed is 45km and roads are repaired quickly) and a bus passed each other.  Restrictions on where to drive: none-there are no rules.

Today Burger King opened!  After our softball games (one planned, two against a Taiwanese A/B team who happened to be on the adjacent field) I went to the new Burger King with our school's PE teacher and his kids.  Oddly enough he lived 3 doors down from me in Indonesia in the mid-90's.  I was so excited for BK that I didn't think about the price.  Whopper JR in the USA: $1 Vietnam: $4.  Large coke in the USA: actually large Vietnam: size of a US small.  Anyway, I was just so pleased that it tasted exactly the same.  So price gouging: no rules.

Janet's motorbike ran out of gas on Friday (gas gauge doesn't work).  It was a surprisingly easy problem to fix.  I took a large water bottle, went to the gas station, and they filled it.  The attendant's only question was: "full?"  and "How long you live here?"  It was not the least bit odd to him that I was getting gas put into an unapproved container that would actually melt if I left the gas in it overnight.  He also asked if I spoke any Vietnamese, his English was good, good enough that he should have asked: "Why the hell are you bringing a water bottle to get filled with petrol?!?!" and "You crazy American, you are going to start a fire!"  Nope, I just strapped the green liquid (petrol is yellow in the USA, green here) to the rack on my bike said "Com-un" (Thank you) and zipped off.  There is a rule against this everywhere else in the world!!!!  In Vietnam, there are no rules.

Delivery? Of course...

So to bridge the language barrier, there is a wonderful website here in Vietnam.  eat.vn.  It is a great way to get everything delivered.  Mexican food, sushi, pizza, beer.  Yes, beer.  At first we thought that maybe they had just uploaded the entire menu but wouldn't actually deliver beer.

Yes, they delivered beer.  Of course everything else comes in it's own little cup.

Their Spanish rice is awesome and the flautas are the best chimichungas I've ever had.

So when we ordered again, we explored their drink menu.  There was an html error when we tried to order a shot, so we just stuck with this:

A margarita in a plastic cup with a straw!   They really have a 'can do' attitude and make it happen.  If you order it, they will deliver it.  If you imagine it, it can be delivered, margaritas to Spider Monkeys, it is all just a phone call away.

How to make "Clam Chowder" in Hanoi

I woke up and all I wanted was clam chowder.  For those of you who have known me for awhile, you know it isn't odd for me to want random things for breakfast.  This is how I made the best version I could.
1. Saturday morning I went to the local market and bought a kilo of clams (2.2 pounds) for 35,000VND - $1.75
2. The only cream based soup I could find at the 'imported goods' store "Veggies" was cream of celery.  18 cans of that, but nothing else cream based. 66,000VND - $3.30
3. Boil the clams, take out the meat, toss it in a pan. Add the Campbell's soup and some garlic salt along with previously boiled water.

It was pretty tasty, but in what universe is a can of sub-par condensed soup worth twice as much as a kilo of fresh clams.
My thought.... "It's Hanoi, of course it makes sense."
-Jeff

Dog Days of Summer and Personal Growth

Yesterday it was SO SO hot!  The sun even burned the smog out of the air and there was a heat haze around the city.  Blue sky is a rarity in Hanoi.  It typically has a grey tinge.   All the locals say that it is now Autumn. WHAT? It is blazing hot but I guess it is all relative. Autumn marks the time of year when they have the Moon Festival. Everyone eats moon cakes and tries to atone for a Vietnamese lady who long ago peed on a very important Banyan tree.  Bad luck for that Vietnamese lady.  Peeing anywhere you want is not limited to long ago Vietnamese people.  I see men, women, and children peeing in the street everyday.  I guess I'm lucky they aren't pooping? AMIRIGHT?? Bright side and all that.

This weekend is a long one because of a Vietnamese national holiday that falls on Monday.    Apparently, it is the day Vietnam declared independence (from the French?) and formed the Republic of Northern Vietnam.  Everyone has their Vietnamese flags flying.  Our guard has had his family in the foyer every day feasting and yelling at each other.  By yelling, I mean just talking at their normal volume starting at 4:30 in the MORNING.  

Jeff was off to Ho Chi Minh on last Friday night.  We met our co-workers for Friday after work drinks at a sports bar near our house.  Jeff drove us up and then took a taxi to the airport.  After he left, I realized he took my bike keys with him to Ho Chi Minh!  In the US, I probably would have cried, called a locksmith, and paid way too much for an extra set of keys.  Vietnam Janet remembered she had an extra key in her bike seat.  After talking to co-workers, they suggested we ask the garage attendants to break into my bike to get the extra key.  I explained my predicament with sign language.  Got my point across and watched in fascination as the guard stuck his hand into the seat and fished out my extra key.  Easy!  Eye opening!  I need to change the way I go about solving problems.  First world fixes vs. third world fixes are two very different things. 

-Janet